As the deer pants for
streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for
God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? Psalm 42:1-2
MY LONG AWAKING
There was a time when Religion was just forced
hours in Sunday school. Jesus was just another tale the teacher told. I didn't
think about it or any of the other stories. I only thought about why I was
stuck having to go to the church every Sunday morning.
Eventually
I was beyond the age where anyone could force me to church and I began to
explore religions on my own. I went thither and yon, mainstream Protestant to
Unitarian to the Ethical Society. I found something unsatisfying in each
because I was looking for a god in my image, not a God who made me in His.
I almost
became a Roman Catholic because I liked all the ritual. I was caught up in
attending daily mass, saying rosary beads and doing the Stations of the Cross.
I spent time learning all the doctrine of that belief, but on the night of
interview for membership, the priest stood us (my wife and I) up, and that
ended interest there.
I then
believed Buddhists had it right. That seemed a logical approach, but somehow I
turned away from Zen and all positive-thinking religion for a darker world, one
of the occult and Anton LaVey's brand of Satanism. Throughout this period I had
been meeting or corresponding with ministers, arguing they were hypocrites and
challenging them on their beliefs. I don't know what effect I had on them, but
eventually I rejected any spiritual or supernatural philosophies and became
simply an Atheist.
Until in
1975 when I became a Christian. I have explained how that happened in earlier
posts. Oh, I've committed sins many times since, but I stand firmly a
Christian, not perfect, just forgiven.
HOW THIS TRIP
BEGAN
In my essay
on Sheep and Goats (Seriousness Series},
I told how I was removed from a church membership I had held for two decades.
This forced me to examine where I was spiritually and I found myself lacking,
coasting, content in the conceit of "being saved" and neglecting just
about everything on the rationalization I had "paid my dues" for
thirty years. How foolish. How dangerous.
I bought a
new study Bible and a Chronological Bible and began daily readings and
devotions. I got back to thinking about Scripture, not just viewing the words.
Late last year, I found a new church and have grown steadily more active within
it.
In the
spring of this year (2008), my friend from childhood to this day, began urging
me to do a Blog, as he had done for some time. (My friend's main blog is called
"Retired in Delaware". We share a common background and agree
on many things, but he would be first to tell you that on religion and
some other things we are worlds apart.)
To be
honest, I resisted. I didn't see the point. I could write whatever in my
computer, why do a Blog? But he persisted and to shut him up, I started a Blog.
I didn't want to just keep a journal or diary. Then I thought I would use it to
explore my Christianity and perhaps it would also reach others who were seeking
and raise their curiosity about Christ. However, I really didn't think anyone
would read it other than my friend, and myself or perhaps, a few others I might
tell.
I was wrong
and much to my incredulity; my Blog was viewed all across this country and
around the world. I heard from others, followed others regularly and there are
those who follow me. I have heard from lost relatives and relatives I never
knew.
But
"Night Writing in the Morning Light" remains what I say in its
subtitle: "musings and ruminations of my personal journey to God".
The rest of the subtitle comes from Psalm 42:8
By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.
WHAT I
WANT YOU TO KNOW
What I
write is my own personal exploration on this journey. I'm trying to clarify
what I believe, understand the Word of God and draw closer to the Lord. I am just
an ordinary man, not a theologian. I'm not trying to be doctrinaire in
anyway. What I write is what I believe, but I can't claim it’s correct. I
respect totally those who disagree; I hope they will do the same for me. Keep
in mind it is my opinion. I try to keep my mind open and draw my own
conclusions from Scripture. I will research background, check source words in
the original language and look up something if it puzzles me or doesn't seem to
fit, but I don't consult or rely heavily on commentaries
I don't
involve myself in debates. I did when I was young, but when I was young I knew
everything with total certainty. Now that I am a senior citizen, I know one
thing with certainty, which is how very little I do know. I pray every day for
wisdom when I read the Scriptures and that I am faithful when I write.
WHY DID I
WRITE THIS ESSAY
Normally I
write on a subject that is either on my mind at the moment. Sometimes I am
inspired to write on a subject by something I read.
I am not
disputing anything anyone has said. I don't want anyone to think I am. This is
an area where devout, true Christians hold many different views. It is an area
that doesn't change the core values and beliefs of Christianity, that God
created all, that Christ came as a Savior of us for our sins, died on the cross
for all who would accept Him and rose, appeared to many witnesses and ascended
into Heaven, and will return someday for the Church and to bring about the
judgment of the world.
If I were
talking to a skeptic or seeker or non-Christian, I wouldn't even bring this
subject up. If they did, I would try to move them off such a discussion onto
the basic Gospel. I have found if you are with someone who has doubts
discussing certain subjects can be a stumbling block. One question can lead to
another to another to another and in the end the Gospel is simply lost in
never-ending questions that are side issues. Winning an argument on how much
time God spent creating, who Cain married, how the sun could have stopped for a
day, and so forth are worthless if Christ is never discussed and a soul is lost.
On the
other hand, as a Christian, I do not think we can dismiss these questions
lightly. We are told "all
Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and
training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped
for every good work." II Timothy 3:16-17
It doesn't say
some Scripture; it says "all". I believe all Scripture is the Word of
God and was reveled by God for us to study and try to understand. As to the six
days of creation and the one day of rest, I have been moving more and more to
believing they were literal days.
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